celaning up my life

Hi everyoe!  Larry Edwardson here!

Well life was pertty mellow in the comma…  My doctor and my lawer asaid I almost didn’t make it.  But now Im hear, watching the birds sing again and the dogs bark… my dog made a huge mess in my apartment, so I decided to beat it when i got back! Lolllz, joking.  I fed it he was hungry.

So the questing on everones mind is “WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET BACK TO FOOD BLOGGING!?”  I know, right?  Well, I have a few things to do… here’s my checklist

1)  feed dog (done)

2)  find my digital camera that my mom gave me for christmas..  then I can eat and photograph foods and WRITE ABOUT IT!

3) well, I have to check wikipedia for updates.  I havent ben on for a while, though I remember having dreams about it while I was in the comma

4)  EAT AGAIN!! LOLZ!! I’m ON A LIQUID DIET RIGHT NOW!!!

Okay, so just an update from my hood!  Peace out biches snd bros!(LOL)

I jsut got out of a comma!

Heeyyy everybody!!!  LARRY EDWARSON HERE!!

I just got outaf my comma and I am almost in perfct health!!  LOLZ!

As sooon as am welll enough to starts eating again, I will start blogging again!  BUT it is my guess no on e wantz to here about eating IV sax and hospitle foods!!  LULS!!

SO…. Stay tuned for moer!  And if anyone wants to give me some money to help with ht e hospitle bill,s I’ would LOVE IT SO MUCH!!  ANy doneations are accepted!!

THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPOST!!  BYE!!!

Important news about Mr. Larry E. Edwardson

Good evening,

My name is M. Reginald Calvaco and I am the attorney representing the estate of Larry Edwardson.  Mr. Edwardson was found in a coma in his bathtub last weekend, apparently suffering from an overdose of olestra which he consumed en masse in order to combat his dioxin poisoning.  His chance of survival is slim, but we retain a shred of hope.

The last few months were tough on Larry.  For starters, he experienced a serious bout of writers’ block from which he felt he would never recover.  Following this were nights and nights of binge eating.  I believe he also became addicted to goji berries and eventually became delusional, announcing to everyone he met that he was a supertaster from the planet Xanthus sent to set free the tongues of men.

If there’s one thing Larry would have wanted, it would be for his immensely popular food blog, Foodkipedia, to live on long after he’s gone.  The joy he derived from knowing that he was helping people all over the world research the food he loved was boundless.

Please keep Larry in your prayers, and enjoy the back pages of his cherished blog in the meantime while we decide whether or not to keep him on life support.

Thank you,

M. Reginald Calvaco, Esq.

Celebrity Lawyer

pomelo

ayo!  I’ve been eating the giant fruit, POMELLO!!

I included a pic of a foot, size 13, for PRESPECTIVE

 

 

yoz, pomello in the house!

 If your like me your asking your self “what is this freak?”

and there’s no answer to this question…

according to wikipedia, it is 

 

a) the ALRGEST CITRUS FRUIT

b)  THE largest citrus fruit

c) FROM SOUTH EAST ASIA

 

WELL!  I’m excited!  Eatin this shit has been an enjoyable endeavor… I saw to myself

“I’m gonna eat this pomelo”

THEN

“I’m gonn blog about it”

THEN

“ALL MY FANS GOING TO READ IT! THE MOST POPULAR FOOD BLOG IN THE COUNTRY! YEAH. YEAH!”

 

Fuck you, every chef excipt Emoril.  Ur all a bunch of Holes.  BAM !!

plate of foods

 

hear is my plate of foo

according to wikipedia, a plate is something you put shit on…in this case chickens and green beanz and mashed pototos.  YUM!

 

It took me about five minutes to eat all this food.  TO shove it down my throat….  I don’t even bother to chew….

 

Happy monday, I’m so tired.  So tired…

I don’t want to work.  I just want to sit home and eat foods all day…. Yums!

b viteamins

 

yoz, you can see all my "bread" (money) in the backsgrounds

I GOTS TO TAKE MY VITAMINS EVERY DAY.  Their kinda of like food.  I chew em (no sub lingual or even worse ANAL vitamins for Larry)

 

Anal vitamins are called “SOPPOSITORIES”.  

 

According to wikipedia, a vitamin is an organic compond with nutrients.  YUM!  You need this shit to live, I should tell you all.  WIthout vitamins, we are nothing, nothing.  We would die.  Our hair would fall out.  Same goez for our teeth.  Our dogs would drop dead since we wouldn’t be able to feed them the crude fat meal which is made from vitamins.  

 

Now I know the rulez.  

EAT YOUR VITAMIN, fool.

gerber pears

 

tims is tough, recession special

Yo,

 

I’m at the stupormarket (LLOOOOOLLZZ!)  and I see a special on baby food- twelve cans for JUST AS MANY DOLLARS (12)!!  And I nearly loose it while shopping.  You know what I mean by it.  

With the economy as it ‘s been , it’s time to stock op on baby foodz.  This one is called “pearz” and it tastes like mushy pears (the normal kind)

 

According to wikpedia, some baby foods contain breast milk ! (YOW! I hope it’s pears!)  

 

Hit me up, i get bored sometimes eating and crapping all the mushed up shit….

 

All my life, I can’t get no rest…

pineapple

 

i cut it and eat it

when I, Larry edwardson, brought home this pineapple the other day, my roommates was overjoyed!  WE FEASTED ON THE YELLOW FLESH OF THIS DELICOUS PIENAPPLE!

 

According the wikipedia, pineapple is a tropical plant.  How does it get up here?  My guess is that their smuggled in by migrant workers.  You have no idea.  We have so many of them working at my shop, it’s sad.  God bless America, right?  The United states of mexico…. sad

 

BUT

 

I love they’re fucking pineapples and I’lL EAT THEM AND CUT THEM GOOD EVERY SINGLE TIME!!

 

Larry out!

 

LOOLLLZ!

fortune cookie

 

it sez i will be prousperous lolz

Wikipedia defines the fortune cookie thuswise:    

“an item made from flour and vanilla which contains a frotune, inasmuch as a frotune can be determined by a coookie… lolz”

I love the forutne cookie- it’s may favorite part of dinner.  Afetr all the greasy shit has passed my throat and is on to bigger adventures in my GI tract (lols) I can get my fortune and know EVERYTHING…   I find love, happiness and prosperitty through fortune cookies, which are kind of an alternate universe in which I find love happiness and prousperity…  It’s amazing!

Anyway, enjoy these cookies in the recession!

chinese food

SO….

 

It’s part two of Larry Edwardson’s Chineze Foods trilogy, and this is the meat and pototos, so to speak… (tomorrow stay tuned 4 the gravy, lolllz)

 

I eat me an entire poile of chinese foods, like from a skill-et, but a chinese persons skill-et, not mine.  

Wikipedia says them Chinese number around several billion…. that’s why they make the best food on earth.  Whether it be shrimpz, chikns, or porks and beevs, I love they’re food all the time… 

 

YUMS!  Fuck the recession, I love this fooooooD!